peggy millin: the write stuff

by kelle olwyler

On this afternoon, one of many during the year, women of all sizes and appearances call to each other in greeting as they wind their way up the driveway and through the door into Peggy Millin’s Tell It Like It Is writing class.

The women who come on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons have learned that this is no ordinary door, but rather, an entryway into a harbor of refuge they can slip into and temporarily escape the turbulent waters of the every day. Here, they can float at rest, let go of their to-do’s, their broken refrigerators, their profit margins, and drop into the womb of creativity.

In a world that has had a masculine overbalance for hundreds of generations, there aren’t too many safe places yet where women can experiment and dive deep. Since Peggy began “the business of writing” seven years ago, she has evolved it into just that . . . a safe place for women to find their words and reclaim themselves.

There is no doubt in Peggy’s mind that she is here to work with women. “Right now the energy of the feminine is almost begging to come into the world. The problem is, women don’t often know what calling forth the energy of the feminine is all about because for generations, we haven’t been allowed to express it.” Writing groups like Peggy’s give women a place to relearn and explore what it feels like to create and communicate from the wholeness of the feminine. In this kind of environment, emphasis is on process rather than product, on following the intuitive rather than the mind, on allowing what’s present to come out without screening, and more than anything, on allowing for “not knowing,” all vital aspects of the feminine.

A BA in English Literature and an M.A. in psychoneurology of learning and language disorders had Peggy living the in-service roles of diagnostician, grant writer, clinical supervisor and director and program coordinator of both educational and family support services. Through it all, she maintained her interest in how people learn and communicate, both verbally and non-verbally.

So where does the writing fit in? “I’ve always considered myself to have two talents, teaching and writing, but bringing them together proved difficult,” admits Peggy. She didn’t feel she had the credentials to teach English Literature at a university (Ph.D. required), but she never stopped asking the questions, “How can I put together teaching and writing? What form can it take?” It was while she held a half-time job at Graham Children’s Center that the question got answered. She was invited to teach a writing class at the local College for Seniors. It was during one of those very first classes while standing in front of the room of her senior students that the ember buried in her burst into flame. “I thought to myself,” remembers Peggy, "I am totally in my joy! Why am I doing anything else?” Finally, her two talents had come together.

It was not a “problem solved instantly” experience. It took guts, fortitude and several tries to turn her joy into ClarityWorks, [ clarityworksonline.com ] a successful business of writing classes, workshops and one-on-one coaching, 90% of which are geared to women. “When I taught at College for Seniors, my classes were mixed,” says Peggy. “I noticed that men and women approached writing differently. And each gender seemed to hold back, not feel safe, in the presence of the other. At some point I asked them if being in a mixed gender class made writing more difficult. Both men and women said they would be freer and more open if they were in a same-gender class.” There was no question to which gender she would devote herself.

Peggy herself probably does not know what draws so many women to her classes and workshops, but it becomes obvious once you spend some time with her in her sessions. She’s an extremely talented writer, and takes part in all exercises and shares as a member of the circle. She reads her best and her worst. She doesn’t have an arrogant bone in her body; she openly talks about what she learns and the mistakes she has made. She embodies the true meaning of the word appreciation for the writing that occurs in her classes. She sees with eyes that recognize the best in women, and freely provides the nurturing that makes space for the best to come out. She laughs openly and admits to her foolish moments. She is encouraging and gentle in her suggestions and comments. She is a terrific role model.

And she has determination. Once the seed of her pathway began, it took many years and the right help before it could sprout and grow into the tree whose fruit feeds many. Peggy several times tried leaving a full time job to start her own business of teaching writing groups. “It was a frightening prospect as to the realities of whether I could make it a viable, self-supporting business . . . soon enough!” Each time she tried it on for size, she hit a “wall” she was unable to get through and ended up back in a full-time employed position, teaching writing on weekends and evenings . . . until three years ago. At the time, she was the first program coordinator for Family Support Network of WNC. Recognizing the huge amount of energy and effort it took to get the program off the ground (and how little she was being paid) Peggy realized she could be running her own business. “I knew I had a pattern I needed to break of starting my own business, hitting the ‘wall,’ and then falling back on full time work once again. So this time I made an agreement with myself that I would not repeat the pattern.” And she didn’t.

It is said that, once someone makes the full commitment by heart and soul, a Higher Source sends whatever is needed to make that person successful. What Peggy received was the strength of her conviction and two support people who showed up exactly when she needed them. The first was a CEO coach who came to a writing workshop she gave at the Institute for the Advancement of Service in D.C. (the only class she does of mixed gender). After that workshop, he began sending her his column for her feedback. A trade-relationship was born that has served them both well. “He has been my rock, my honest face,” says Peggy. “He gives me a good talking to and forces me to go ahead when I am afraid.” And because she met him through the Institute, she knew they held a similar philosophy about life.

Next came Valerie Leff, an author herself, who attended one of Peggy’s classes. Valerie has lived in many places, including new York and L.A., and attended a multitude of writing workshops and classes similar to Peggy’s. “Valerie told me my class was the best she’d ever been to. I was startled!” says Peggy. It was Valerie’s “reflecting back” to Peggy that drove home that she could drop any pretense of gearing the writing to personal growth, focus only on the writing, and people’s lives would change. “I began being very careful about the kinds of writing prompts I used, posing very neutral ones. For example, I would not say, ‘write about your mother.’ I’d be more likely to say, ‘remember a kitchen,’ and in the process of writing about a kitchen, you might write about your mother.”

Peggy has come to name her writing technique Centered Writing Practice™. “I sit in classes and watch people heal. Women who come for a while, or who perhaps take a longer retreat, often seem to take a step forward in their trust of themselves. And all this seems to happen without any kind of therapeutic focus. It’s been amazing to me to see how it works. I had no idea when I started that this would become a part of it!”

Part of the healing that quietly takes place is in the writing and part of it in the listening. “In the circle, we write, then we listen to other women read. The listening not only effects our writing, it effects our souls.” Women are community oriented, so women gathered together create a very strong energy. “When women share, also present are nurturing, support and compassion. One woman’s story gives others strength, gives them permission to take risks, to try something new themselves, and to realize they’re not alone, that other women have had many of the same experiences.”

Peggy finds it exciting to see women who came into this class a couple of years ago--some never having written anything other than a personal journal--who are now having stories published. Some are working on novels likely to be published at some time. “These are all women,” says Peggy, “who came to this class with no expectation that they would ever write a short story or a novel.” There are also previously published authors who attend because they get nurtured and fed through Peggy’s writing groups.

In the last three years, Peggy has been building a fine reputation in the Western North Carolina mountains for her writing classes and services. Her second book, “ Becoming a Fearless Writer: A Woman’s Way to Words,” will soon be done and is being shopped to agents. She now draws women from around the country to her retreats, the next one to be held on the beach in Charleston, April, 2005. She also coaches men and women who are writing novels, articles, short stories and memoirs. Locally, women are lining up to get into her workshops. And yet . . . Peggy remains humble while giving women a place to laugh, to cry, to be deeply touched, and to write.

published in Western North Carolina Woman